Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself. #georgebernardshaw #myalltimefavoritequote You’ve probably heard this one before, but have you ever considered what it really means?

All too often in life we settle and wait. Wait for it to be the right time to move, quit your job, break up with him. Settle for someone else’s actions to decide our fate, define what we’re capable of, or tell us what’s possible.

Or we point the finger. That elusive finger, saying if she would only listen, or if he could just understand me, THEN things would be better. It’s a vicious, passive aggressive cycle that we’ve gotten ourselves into.

But what about the four little fingers pointing right back at you? When’s the last time you decided to investigate those a little bit deeper? Have you ever considered what the common denominator of the things not working out for you in life is? (Hint:  you’ve got 4 fingers pointing right at it.)

One of the scariest and most rewarding things you can decide to do in life is to take yourself on. It goes against the norm and what society teaches us, it’s incredibly uncomfortable at first, it’s really hard to remember why you’re doing it once you get balls deeps but the light at the next stop is sooooooooo worth it.

What is it that’s holding you back but you’ve been too afraid to confront? Are you being selfish? (I’m raising my hand) Maybe you’re judgmental, or unorganized, perhaps a hypersensitive Sally? Maybe it’s YOU who needs to start really listening. To be honest I have no idea what it is, just throwing a few things out there to get you thinking…you’ll have to do the work yourself to reap the reward.

Now the trick is to get down and dirty with yourself.
Be brutally honest.
Ask people what you’re not seeing that’s holding you back.
And then LISTEN.
Don’t fight it.
Take a deep breathe and realize that this is who you’ve been.

And now forgive yourself.
We’re human, it’s our nature to be all of these ugly things. Don’t beat yourself up over it, but get present to those things that are keeping you from being a better version of yourself.

When you begin to take personal responsibility for things in your life, your job, your relationship, your spirituality, your finances, your friendships, then a beautiful thing starts to happen. It’s no longer on anyone else’s terms. It’s now your turn to create what you want for yourself. You get to define what that looks like. You get to decide how much you love your job, how you’re going to react in that moment, who you want to be for your friends.

So what are you waiting for? #gotakeyourselfon

-sj