Cute Shoes Attract Crazy? Or is it just me?

I’m a fan of any sort of wearable conversation pieces, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into with these puppies. A fun pair of flats are an essential to any fabulous woman’s wardrobe and this pair clearly steals center stage. A day-glo denim coral masterpiece; I love em. Apparently, so do the men.

While out at a Chicago Fire game this past weekend I received multiple compliments from a wide range of polite males. Standing in line at half time a college aged kid came up behind us and said, “Whoa! I definitely won’t be loosing you with those shoes! I’m from New York, this is my first game and you should be excited for me.” He quickly realized he was in between a rock and hard place in trying to decide between hitting on my 15 year old step sister or the 27 year old who clearly had no interest in him.

Walking out of the stadium a man old enough to be my father walked by and hollered “Cute shoes!” to which I replied, “Hey thanks!” Impressed by the gentleman’s keen sense of fashion I continued my trek across the parking lot and not even 5 minutes later a car pulled up and yelled “Hey look! It’s the girl with the cute shoes!” and started cheering. I waved to my adoring fans and continued my journey back to the city.

Compliments on the shuttle, as well as an awkward run in with the college kid (“Hey! There you are! Guess I was wrong! You didn’t even say good bye and I couldn’t find your shoes anywhere!”) led to pleasantries on the El. A man whom we’ll call “Crazy” pulled up a seat next to me with a “WOW! Day glo orange?!” I looked at him and said “Yes, that’s right.” He began telling me about a “place” that he had seen with lights that color coming through the windows but he didn’t trust what was going on inside.

At that point he began pulling items out of the bags he had with him. The first was a used ball cap from Marseilles, IL reminding the wearer to Support Our Troops. He was proud, as it “looks brand new doesn’t it?!” Next out of the bag was a cassette tape of CATS! the musical. He was delighted with his purchase until he realized that it was Tape 2 of 2 and he was missing the mate. “Oh well. It only cost 35 cents. I’m going to give it to my friend anyway. She used to live in this real small apartment and she loved cats. She had 30 of them but then she went to a mental health facility. Do you know anyone in a mental health facility?”

I thought for a second, running through the people I know that should probably be in a nuthouse, but admitted that no, I did not. “That’s ok. You’re better off that way. They run around dropping the N-word and that’s not ok cuz I live by a bunch of gang bangers that would shoot you for saying for something like that.” I stared at him, not quite understanding what was happening and said “I’d imagine they would.”

Next he pulled out a single gold hoop earring, that clearly had been found on the ground and looked as if a truck had backed over it a few times. “No, but thank you.” I politely declined. “No, no! It’s not for you! I was wondering if you think my lady friend would like it. You know, the one in the health facility?” Hmmmm.  “Yes, I’m sure she’d think it’s quite nice.” He then proceeded to pull out 8 nose rings from his wallet he’d been saving for her, a rusted, foggy, stretchy tennis bracelet and another equally ridiculous single earring.

“Well. That’s quite a collection you’ve got. You’re friend is very lucky to have a friend like you.”

“Thanks. I think so too. Welp. Roosevelt. This is me. Nice talking to ya!”

I look over to my mother and her husband who have been doubled over in laughter the entire time, offering no words of rescue. They did however manage to capture a classic photo of me and my new Crazy friend that sums up our time together quite well.

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